'Round the Town Roadtrippin'

For the last few weeks we've had to put our roadtrippin' and hiking on hold. Truth be told, I'm a little surprised we've been able to do it this far, I was sure we'd have to hang up our hiking boots come the first snow storm. And while Montana didn't get dumped on right away, we sure did come the turn of the new year, making it more difficult for us to head outdoors. For one thing, we needed, like, twice the amount of clothing. Combining the seemingly unrelenting snow with extremely low temperatures meant we were better off at home, which got me thinking about the times during the summer when we were home-bound. I was itching just as much to get back into the wilderness then but at least we had some fun things to keep us occupied.

The Oasis Water Park.

 A family that slides together...

(I just have to point out that those are my legs and, yes, they are amazing. And this was before we started our hiking adventures.)

If you don't have a picture like this, are you even a mom?

When you're taking pictures and don't realize the zoom is on. That's ok; only a few more years of this tushy being cute before it turns into a gross teenager tushy.

When we bought our house - literally one block away from the water park - we thought, How cool will it be to go to the water park every day of the summer?! Since then, we've - literally - gone once a summer. We always swear we're going to go more and never do. Well, maybe this year... 

For those not-rare instances when we don't go to Oasis, I got this:

 And - come Hell or high water - jammed it into the back of my Jeep Grand Cherokee. No damage! Go me!

Though sometimes having the pool made little difference...

Right before our obsession with hiking around the mountains started, I tried my hand at marching around the city for my very first PRIDE Parade, which might come as a surprise to those who know and refer to me as a "Flaming Liberal." An old high school friend of mine commented on my FB, "How have you never attended a PRIDE Parade?!" Well, for one thing, this particular PRIDE Parade was the first for Billings in, like, nine years. And - something else people who call me a "Flaming Liberal" might be surprised to learn - I don't actually know, or am friends with, any gay people. Sure, I have a friend with a gay sibling, I once had a boss who is gay, and I see it all over television and books, but I never felt an activist's passion to attend the parade. And, to be honest, the only reason I attended this year was because my coworker told me he was taking the day off in order to go so I thought, What the heck? I'll see what it's about. Turns out, a lot of rainbows and glitter, and, really, how can anyone be mad at so much rainbows and glitter?

 While I was there, I ran into my old college buddy, Birth Control.

I know these people in real life, all of us just a bunch of straighties in our less-glittery straight relationships.

It was shortly thereafter when we went to Yellowstone and our roadtrippin' was reignited. While we did manage to get out of town most of the time, there were weekends when we found ourselves at home, so decided to do some home-hiking. It was - as far as I was concerned - pretty boring, but at least it was outside.

 Walking a 100-year old dog is pretty easy.

 Most of the time...

 This was only a few blocks from our house, which, considering the alternatives, aint too shabby.

So, apparently I have this affinity for giant boulders, as we saw on our Mystic Lake hike and Woodbine Falls hike.

Even though I was a bit of a Drama Queen about it then - and am a bit of a Drama Queen about it now - having to stay home wasn't the complete travesty I made it out to be.

 At least I (we) had my (our) books!

 And when we weren't roadtrippin', we were preparing for roadtrippin'.

 Proper attire always matters.

 And thanks to Grandpa Jeff, we added two new pets to our household, and who are probably the more well-read fish of the neighborhood. We did lose one of the fish come early fall on account of *someone* (me) accidentally dropping it down the drain while they (I) was cleaning the fishbowl. I like to think - and tell the kids - that he made it all the way to the ocean.

 Dinner on uncomfortable patio furniture in the heat is just one of the perks of summertime.

And we got to witness the eclipse, which was pretty darn cool; and - quite literally - cool. The sun's rays might be more powerful, but when that moon slid in front of the sun, there was a very noticeable temperature drop, and the world sort of dimmed. After the many warnings about not looking at an eclipse, I'd be lying if I said it didn't take a LOT of self-control to not look at it (which probably explains why President Donny did). But I quickly noticed that if I turned my head just enough for it to be in my periphery, it was really uncomfortable. Among the many warnings I saw, one advised keeping dogs inside because some of them will stare at the sun. Personally, I have never known a dog to even pay attention to the sun, so during the eclipse, I let Louis conduct his usual dog business. He sat with his back to the sun, hid and re-hid his dog bone, laid in the grass next to me; just another day to be Louis.

 As I mentioned in my Mystic Lake post, Durbin departed this earth early in the summer, though it was before everything I've posted here. School was still in session but the weather was getting warmer, and we could tell that Durbin's end was drawing near. Where dogs are known to distance themselves from their owners as death approaches, Durbin was the opposite; like he was afraid to go alone. I remember coming home from work one Saturday morning to find him upstairs (old dogs don't do stairs), laying on the bathroom floor as Jacob took a shower. The day he passed away was not unusual, but I needed to go to the store and decided to do it before picking Zoey up from school rather than after. The second we got home, the kids wanted to play outside and so we did. They sat at the kiddie picnic table, snacks in hand, with Durbin laying beside them. As Zoey ran inside to get more chicken fingers, Durbin laid all the way down, flicked his tail, and was gone. I'd like to think he died happy, with - and watching - his family. Jacob left work early and drove him to his final resting place in the expanse of Grandpa Don's yard in Columbus (when Louis is ready to go, his spot is right next to Durbin). Louis wasn't altogether surprised by the event, probably knowing it would happen long before we did. But he could tell we were upset so his usual anti-social, anti-snuggle self really stepped up and became the family dog. He let us snuggle him and give him hugs, licked our salty, tear-streaked faces, and continues to let us pet him whenever we want; though it helps if we smell like food, and he's too old and achy to jump up and run away like he did before.

Durbin still lives in our hearts, the kids still talk about him, and we always wonder what he would have been like on our camping adventures. One thing is for sure: his giant dog testicles would have taken him far and wide and we'd never see him again.

Being relegated to the indoors during winter feels a little more oppressive, as we're repeatedly warned not to go outside. And if we're getting snow here in the city, the mountains are getting about a gillion more, which will make for awesome hiking come Spring, but is frustrating now.

Such is life...

A Merry McRoadtrippin McChristmas

Considering I had been watching Hallmark Christmas movies since the afternoon of October 31st, to say Christmas snuck up on us this year would be a straight-up lie. But no matter how it happens, once it's over, it always feels like, whew! That was fast! And this year was no different, even though preparations didn't near meet the level of last year. But no matter - we all enjoyed the holiday and that's what really matters. We enjoyed it so much, here we are talking about it in February!

For starters, I didn't make any cookies or make treat-deliveries to any neighbors because I'm pretty sure they hate me, feel sorry for Jacob that he's married to me, and can hear me yelling at my children. So I thought my gift to them would be sparing them our traveling circus. And Santa didn't seem to mind the Reese's Peanut Butter Trees and the on-the-verge-of-going-bad apple slices we left for him and his reindeer.

 Christmas presents from Grandma and Grandpa!

 Ohhhh the tree was definitely a challenge this year!

 Our Third Grade ornaments, always together and always near our "Future Mr. and Mrs. 2009" ornament.

And of course this gem, from our First Grade. Mine is currently with my parents.

Captain Adorable, reporting for Christmas baking duty! Although since I did none, he was most likely getting ready to "help" me pull out some fish sticks.

 I did, however, do some Christmas Drinkin'! Here, (a) Jack Frost is nipping at my nose at my friend, Paula's, now-annual Christmas party.

 Us ladies like our Jacks!

 Paula and I totally shop at the same Wal-Mart.

 They said, "Do what the teenagers are doing now!" Clearly I know exactly what that is.

 Although we had a "light" Christmas this year, we mainly stuck to tradition because that's what makes the holidays fun. Here we are with our Dashboard Dinner to drive around and view the town's Christmas light displays on Christmas Eve.

The face of a child who thinks she just saw the real Santa Clause flying around in the sky on Christmas Eve.

 Our very own Griswolds in Billings!

 Griswolds, we are not! Hashtag: winning!

 You can't tell but even the dogs came with us to see the lights.

Gifts from Santa.

"Santa" thought Zoey would think "his" note was cool, so after "Santa" had a few beers, "Santa" spent a good 30-minutes on the masterpiece, then "Santa" was thoroughly disappointed when Zoey barely noticed. Fuckin' kids.

Nice List or Naughty List?? Who can tell?

 The Monster High Pony she asked for from Santa, which is pretty much a Satan action figure (and which she promptly forgot about in favor of fighting with Holden over his light-up, musical, made-for-a-one-year-old toys).

A boy and his dogs.

Santa (aka Grandma) came through for Louis, too.

Catching squirrels that are just handed to you in pretty wrapping is so much less work!

Mr. Squirrel fulfilling his destiny.

This crazy, stretchable stuffed animal that Grandma Sally found just happens to be something advertised on TV, AND comes with a workout and dance DVD.

Holden decided Zoey's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sneakers were for him, and the stuffed Charlie Brown actually was for him. I think they kind of look alike... :-)

Zoey wasn't sure what this was but was SURE she was going to love it; *this* being what I know from my childhood as a "Skip It." Skip It was - what I can ascertain from the always-informative box - purchased, or something, by Twister, so now it's called a Twister....er....something or other. Whatever, it's a fuckin' Skip It.

Hat - check; Montana-based - check; car-themed - check!

Also a throwback to my childhood (and my mom's, I think), is the Loom. Here I'm trying to show Zoey how to do it even though my memories of doing it are about as clear as a vague dream.

She's a smarty and was able to figure it out, she's just not very patient, like most people, which is probably why *I* stopped Looming in the first place. And going to the gym.

Looming is serious business.

Our Very Merry McIntyre McChristmas McDinner.
Our holiday plans didn't go beyond opening presents on Christmas morning, then heading up to Jacob's parent's house. But about halfway there, in true Montana White-Christmas fashion, the car started smoking. We pulled into the next rest stop where Jacob tried to determine what was wrong, as three White, seemingly American people stopped, did their business, stole a glance in our direction, then went on their way. It was at about the same time two Middle Eastern truckers asked if we were ok that Jacob discovered what was wrong but just needed one specific tool to get us back home (a minor repair was still needed, which obviously couldn't be done Christmas day). They happened to have the tool, gave Jacob moral support as he ghetto-rigged his pants belt around something under the hood, then they headed on their way as we headed on ours. During the 25-mile drive back home, I lamented that I a) had zero plans for dinner; 2) even if I had an idea, nothing was thawed out; and D) I hadn't bothered to run the dishwasher since I don't like leaving the house with appliances running, so even if I had an idea, or something thawed out, I had nothing to serve it on.
We considered driving through McDonalds but decided against it, and ultimately discovered later that they wouldn't have been open anyway. Not like the Chinese restaurant, though, which was busier than we had ever seen it. We drove by to see the parking lot full of cars, and waited on the phone for take-out for close to 20-minutes.

We did make it to Columbus about a week later, which had yet another set of obstacles.

 After safely making the 40-mile drive to Grandma and Grandpa's house, with the car acting appropriately, we were halted less than a mile from their house because recent snowfall plus high winds covers up small roads not maintained by the county. Jacob's dad was out there with the plow, but with the snow so thick, deep, and iced-over, he'd get stuck after clearing away only a little; plow, plow, plow, dig out. Plow, plow, plow, dig out. And since the snow was so thick, deep, and iced-over, me and the kids had little to do but wait in the car and blast Mariah Carey's Christmas album. And Zoey learned the art of peeing outside, like a true Mountain Girl.

 

This Christmas was different, the same, happy, and of course stressful. I de-McChristmas-ed the house a few days later, way before New Years, which is just another day around the McIntyre household.

I did, however, continue to get lost in Hallmark movies.